attention passengers this is your pilot speaking, we’re going to be experiencing some heavy turbulence shortly so please strap in. this loser just bet that i couldn’t do a 360 barrel roll in this thing and let’s just say i’m about to be $20 richer real soon
Dear ex best friend: the very sight of your name and/or face puts me on the verge of a breakdown. If you ever cared about me, the least you can do is not get on my social media.
It’s bad enough that you keep showing up at the coffee shop you said you weren’t going to hang out at anymore, and the fact that you’re cool beans with everybody but me.
Really don’t want my birthday to suck, but really don’t want to be that person and keep telling people my birthday is coming up.
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